If there is one thing I have learned over the last 5 years, it's most definitely that life is unpredictable. I know that is common sense and something we all already know, but sometimes life just has to prove that point to us. Not an easy point to learn for someone who is a planner ... I really don't like it when my plan does not go according to plan.
I have found my life has made a complete 360 the last 3 months but it's not entirely a bad rotation, I must admit. For the first time in a while, life is going good. Not according to my plan, but good nonetheless. We've just recently purchased my great uncle and great aunt's home. I would have never guessed in a million years that I would raise my children in the home my Granddaddy's brother and wife built in the 1950's and raised their family in. It is truly and honor to be the one to purchase this home. What's even more perfect is the fact that this home is maybe 2 blocks from my mom. And it's home!! It's been a long time since I have felt a peace about "home" but this is it, 100%! I don't know if it is because we moved back to my hometown or if it is because we are close to mom or because it is a family home, but it is OUR HOME!
Life gave us an unexpected twist 4 weeks ago when my mom fell and broke her right arm. It's not been an easy ride at all. It's been stressful, it's been trying, but we've overcome! If anything, it confirmed the decision to move. Of course I was nervous and scared, scared of commitment... I mean, it was a HUGE commitment to purchase this home, one that I was not certain to make, but her fall confirmed the decision. There is something about the thought of my mom having to lay in the floor for 30 minutes until someone could get there that rips my heart apart. If I had already been close, I would have been there in 2 minutes, if that! It wouldn't have changed the fact that her arm broke, but my heart wouldn't have broken has bad.
Life hurts knowing that it is forever changed. Accepting the fact that the circle of life has changed and I am now a caregiver to my mom is a tough pill to swallow. She was the caregiver for my Grandma for so many years and now the roles have reversed. I am my mom and she is Grandma. I am to care for her as she cared for Grandma. Goodness, do I have some tough shoes to fill. I'm truly honored for this role but thankful that I have the love and support of my little family. I couldn't make it without them. Right now our daily routine includes plans of who is to spend the night with mom (my sister during the week, me on weekends) and who can cover dinner. Doctors appointments and medicine decisions encompass our lives. Surgery or no surgery? Therapy or no therapy? Does insurance cover therapy? I am so afraid of making the right decision, one that is best for her. So thankful that our issues only involve physical and not true medical issues that include mental health.
As life has thrown us multiple curve balls, we just learn to embrace and go from there. We can't let the curve balls ruin us or that will be it. I have little to no control over some circumstances in life but we can either choose to take those curve balls and attempt to hit a home run the best way possible or it will strike us out. I, for one, want to make the home run. I may only make it to first base, but my gosh I'm trying as hard as I can!
~Randi
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