If there is one thing I have learned over the last 5 years, it's most definitely that life is unpredictable. I know that is common sense and something we all already know, but sometimes life just has to prove that point to us. Not an easy point to learn for someone who is a planner ... I really don't like it when my plan does not go according to plan.
I have found my life has made a complete 360 the last 3 months but it's not entirely a bad rotation, I must admit. For the first time in a while, life is going good. Not according to my plan, but good nonetheless. We've just recently purchased my great uncle and great aunt's home. I would have never guessed in a million years that I would raise my children in the home my Granddaddy's brother and wife built in the 1950's and raised their family in. It is truly and honor to be the one to purchase this home. What's even more perfect is the fact that this home is maybe 2 blocks from my mom. And it's home!! It's been a long time since I have felt a peace about "home" but this is it, 100%! I don't know if it is because we moved back to my hometown or if it is because we are close to mom or because it is a family home, but it is OUR HOME!
Life gave us an unexpected twist 4 weeks ago when my mom fell and broke her right arm. It's not been an easy ride at all. It's been stressful, it's been trying, but we've overcome! If anything, it confirmed the decision to move. Of course I was nervous and scared, scared of commitment... I mean, it was a HUGE commitment to purchase this home, one that I was not certain to make, but her fall confirmed the decision. There is something about the thought of my mom having to lay in the floor for 30 minutes until someone could get there that rips my heart apart. If I had already been close, I would have been there in 2 minutes, if that! It wouldn't have changed the fact that her arm broke, but my heart wouldn't have broken has bad.
Life hurts knowing that it is forever changed. Accepting the fact that the circle of life has changed and I am now a caregiver to my mom is a tough pill to swallow. She was the caregiver for my Grandma for so many years and now the roles have reversed. I am my mom and she is Grandma. I am to care for her as she cared for Grandma. Goodness, do I have some tough shoes to fill. I'm truly honored for this role but thankful that I have the love and support of my little family. I couldn't make it without them. Right now our daily routine includes plans of who is to spend the night with mom (my sister during the week, me on weekends) and who can cover dinner. Doctors appointments and medicine decisions encompass our lives. Surgery or no surgery? Therapy or no therapy? Does insurance cover therapy? I am so afraid of making the right decision, one that is best for her. So thankful that our issues only involve physical and not true medical issues that include mental health.
As life has thrown us multiple curve balls, we just learn to embrace and go from there. We can't let the curve balls ruin us or that will be it. I have little to no control over some circumstances in life but we can either choose to take those curve balls and attempt to hit a home run the best way possible or it will strike us out. I, for one, want to make the home run. I may only make it to first base, but my gosh I'm trying as hard as I can!
~Randi
Monday, June 20, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Why do we turn to social media?
I consider myself like one of the other hundreds of millions of people who find themselves addicted to social media. I find myself bored for a few minutes and scrolling through the several different social media apps that I have to see what the latest is happening in the lives of my "800 friends."
As I scroll through and read some of the status updates that people put, I find myself in total awe. I look at my own life and the things that I post and just ask "Why?" Why do I post these things? Well, the answer is simple - acceptance. Self gratification. Bragging. Making life look like the simple, perfect social media life.
It is no lie that I've had personal struggles over the last 12 months. Struggles that some are aware of and some that no one knows. I have had one of my "800 friends" send me a private message one day asking a generic question and the conversation turned to catching up on life. The statement from that person's message hit me like a ton of bricks. "Wow, I thought you had the fairytale life!" Um, (choke, choke, cough, cough) excuse me? The picture of life that I had painted on my social media account was that I had the perfect scenario life. Do we purposely paint that picture? No, not at all. But we do find ourselves posting nothing but the good of our lives. The pieces that we want people to notice. The pieces that we want recognized and remembered. The pieces that will give us a pat on the back.
I have also found myself recently "bored" with posts from a "friend". This friend is legitimately going through a real life struggle, a struggle that no one would have ever expected. Where I do keep this friend and their family in my constant prayers, I also find myself very tired of reading their status updates. It becomes the same thing every time - and one that I can only feel is the cry for attention. The cry for acceptance.
Though I am tired of these kinds of status updates, I can't stop reading them. And of course, like the other 200 people, I am one of the "likes" on the status. But what would happen if a person put the truth on their status? Would they get likes? No, absolutely not. If you had 1 friend post "my child just washed the dishes by themselves without even being asked to. I am so blessed to have a child who likes to help" and another friend post "Such a stressful week this week. Paycheck is gone for the week but fortunately I found enough quarters to buy gas for the week." or "The bank has sent me a letter and I have to move from my home because they are foreclosing next month" -- which status are you going to "like" and which status are you going to "judge"? We would never judge the parent with the child who did their chores but yet we would turn our nose to the person who has financial struggles. Another example "My child made A Honor Roll again. I am so blessed to have such a smart child" versus "My child made an F on their report card. Praying we study harder and work to improve that grade." Um, no brainer which one to like and which one to judge. The second parent would quickly be judged as the parent who didn't take the time to study with the child probably because they were on their social media too much. HAHA! Just had to plug that in, but it is the truth! That is exactly what everyone would think!
I am just as guilty as everyone else. I obviously paint the perfect life also. We live and act as if everything is perfect when in reality there is a boat anchor pulling us down and we can barely catch a breath.
Jesus tells us that we will have trials and tribulation. He tells us that we will grieve. But our grieving is only temporary. Why don't we share our grievances so that our "800 friends" can pray with us?
John 16:20 tells us "Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."
Don't be discouraged or let down because your 800 other friends lead the perfect life. In reality, 799 of those friends are hurting and discouraged just like you. Maybe not the same situations, but grief is grief. God does not have levels of grief. When we grieve, he grieves with us. But just know, as God tells us, our grief will turn to joy and God will use that to the very best of his ability. Your grief now may help someone in the future. That is what I am trust God to do with me!
~Randi
As I scroll through and read some of the status updates that people put, I find myself in total awe. I look at my own life and the things that I post and just ask "Why?" Why do I post these things? Well, the answer is simple - acceptance. Self gratification. Bragging. Making life look like the simple, perfect social media life.
It is no lie that I've had personal struggles over the last 12 months. Struggles that some are aware of and some that no one knows. I have had one of my "800 friends" send me a private message one day asking a generic question and the conversation turned to catching up on life. The statement from that person's message hit me like a ton of bricks. "Wow, I thought you had the fairytale life!" Um, (choke, choke, cough, cough) excuse me? The picture of life that I had painted on my social media account was that I had the perfect scenario life. Do we purposely paint that picture? No, not at all. But we do find ourselves posting nothing but the good of our lives. The pieces that we want people to notice. The pieces that we want recognized and remembered. The pieces that will give us a pat on the back.
I have also found myself recently "bored" with posts from a "friend". This friend is legitimately going through a real life struggle, a struggle that no one would have ever expected. Where I do keep this friend and their family in my constant prayers, I also find myself very tired of reading their status updates. It becomes the same thing every time - and one that I can only feel is the cry for attention. The cry for acceptance.
Though I am tired of these kinds of status updates, I can't stop reading them. And of course, like the other 200 people, I am one of the "likes" on the status. But what would happen if a person put the truth on their status? Would they get likes? No, absolutely not. If you had 1 friend post "my child just washed the dishes by themselves without even being asked to. I am so blessed to have a child who likes to help" and another friend post "Such a stressful week this week. Paycheck is gone for the week but fortunately I found enough quarters to buy gas for the week." or "The bank has sent me a letter and I have to move from my home because they are foreclosing next month" -- which status are you going to "like" and which status are you going to "judge"? We would never judge the parent with the child who did their chores but yet we would turn our nose to the person who has financial struggles. Another example "My child made A Honor Roll again. I am so blessed to have such a smart child" versus "My child made an F on their report card. Praying we study harder and work to improve that grade." Um, no brainer which one to like and which one to judge. The second parent would quickly be judged as the parent who didn't take the time to study with the child probably because they were on their social media too much. HAHA! Just had to plug that in, but it is the truth! That is exactly what everyone would think!
I am just as guilty as everyone else. I obviously paint the perfect life also. We live and act as if everything is perfect when in reality there is a boat anchor pulling us down and we can barely catch a breath.
Jesus tells us that we will have trials and tribulation. He tells us that we will grieve. But our grieving is only temporary. Why don't we share our grievances so that our "800 friends" can pray with us?
John 16:20 tells us "Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."
Don't be discouraged or let down because your 800 other friends lead the perfect life. In reality, 799 of those friends are hurting and discouraged just like you. Maybe not the same situations, but grief is grief. God does not have levels of grief. When we grieve, he grieves with us. But just know, as God tells us, our grief will turn to joy and God will use that to the very best of his ability. Your grief now may help someone in the future. That is what I am trust God to do with me!
~Randi
Monday, January 25, 2016
Introduction
You know, it is always tough to create a new blog. What do I say? How do I start? What does my heart really say versus what I need to be saying? Do I fudge and say what I think everyone wants to hear or what I feel like I should say? I've created several blogs. One is for the happy go lucky part of our life. One is the secret blog where it has no identity but one that I feel like I can say exactly what I am thinking and feeling without being judged (fyi - I have only ever done 1 blog post on that blog .. just can't bring myself to doing it) and then now this blog. One that I feel like I should lay it all out on.
I am just the typical average female, wife, mom, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, etc. I realized that my life is just like the hundreds of thousands of million other ones. We paint the picture perfect life on the outside where on the inside we are crumbling in a million pieces. We want everyone to think we have everything together in it's perfect spot when in reality there are so many missing puzzle pieces and they are nowhere to be found.
I have come to realize that my marriage is not perfect, nor is any other marriage on the planet. If someone tells you that they have the perfect marriage, then they are boldly lying to your face!!! Sure, they may have everything they need but there is some flaw in there somewhere. Trust me! I would not say that my husband and I have made mistakes in our marriage because mistake is such a harsh word. I would like to say that we have both made poor decisions. Poor decisions that have caused us much hurt, anger, harm, trust, love, etc etc. But in that, poor decisions that have at least made me stronger in the long run. Decisions that have taught me hard lessons. Decisions that have taught me patience. (Patience is definitely not my strong virtue - my parents will agree 100% on that!)
That is where this blog comes in to place. Like the old classic saying "When life feeds you lemons, make lemonade." My life has been filled with lemons lately - bad tasting lemons at that. Lemons full of bitter and not sweet. Lemons that are rotten. But I have made a decision that I am turning those lemons into lemonade. I will not let my life be full of bitter bad tasting lemons. I want it to be sweet like precious lemonade. I want it to be full of life and sunshine, like the color of a lemon.
As winter comes to a close in the coming months (hopefully sooner rather than later), I plan to embark on the coming of spring where life outside begins to come back. Where trees of fruit begin to blossom. Where spring time flowers bloom and beautiful colors shine. That is me! I plan to shine. I plan to make lemonade so sweet that it is real, not fake. I desire to have real sugar in my lemonade and not artificial sweetener.
I want to close my first blog post with scripture from my quiet time this morning. It has been (sadly) a while since I have turned to the ONE who can ultimately make my lemonade sweeter. Yes, I have selfishly been the one thinking I can do this on my own and let me tell you, it definitely doesn't work that way. It has gotten more bitter as it has gone!!! But I opened my devotional this morning and low and behold the scripture was mapped out for me - it is so funny how God works that way sometimes.
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name." ~Hebrews 13:15
"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
~2 Corinthians 3:18
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory."
~Psalm 73:23-24
I am just a very broken woman, but I know who holds my future and my future is bright and sweet! No I am not excited about the dirt path that I must travel to get there, but I know that my lemons are very sweet on the other side!! Please join me and cover me in prayer as I get my feet dirty! HAHA!!!
I am just the typical average female, wife, mom, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, etc. I realized that my life is just like the hundreds of thousands of million other ones. We paint the picture perfect life on the outside where on the inside we are crumbling in a million pieces. We want everyone to think we have everything together in it's perfect spot when in reality there are so many missing puzzle pieces and they are nowhere to be found.
I have come to realize that my marriage is not perfect, nor is any other marriage on the planet. If someone tells you that they have the perfect marriage, then they are boldly lying to your face!!! Sure, they may have everything they need but there is some flaw in there somewhere. Trust me! I would not say that my husband and I have made mistakes in our marriage because mistake is such a harsh word. I would like to say that we have both made poor decisions. Poor decisions that have caused us much hurt, anger, harm, trust, love, etc etc. But in that, poor decisions that have at least made me stronger in the long run. Decisions that have taught me hard lessons. Decisions that have taught me patience. (Patience is definitely not my strong virtue - my parents will agree 100% on that!)
That is where this blog comes in to place. Like the old classic saying "When life feeds you lemons, make lemonade." My life has been filled with lemons lately - bad tasting lemons at that. Lemons full of bitter and not sweet. Lemons that are rotten. But I have made a decision that I am turning those lemons into lemonade. I will not let my life be full of bitter bad tasting lemons. I want it to be sweet like precious lemonade. I want it to be full of life and sunshine, like the color of a lemon.
As winter comes to a close in the coming months (hopefully sooner rather than later), I plan to embark on the coming of spring where life outside begins to come back. Where trees of fruit begin to blossom. Where spring time flowers bloom and beautiful colors shine. That is me! I plan to shine. I plan to make lemonade so sweet that it is real, not fake. I desire to have real sugar in my lemonade and not artificial sweetener.
I want to close my first blog post with scripture from my quiet time this morning. It has been (sadly) a while since I have turned to the ONE who can ultimately make my lemonade sweeter. Yes, I have selfishly been the one thinking I can do this on my own and let me tell you, it definitely doesn't work that way. It has gotten more bitter as it has gone!!! But I opened my devotional this morning and low and behold the scripture was mapped out for me - it is so funny how God works that way sometimes.
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name." ~Hebrews 13:15
"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
~2 Corinthians 3:18
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory."
~Psalm 73:23-24
I am just a very broken woman, but I know who holds my future and my future is bright and sweet! No I am not excited about the dirt path that I must travel to get there, but I know that my lemons are very sweet on the other side!! Please join me and cover me in prayer as I get my feet dirty! HAHA!!!
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